There have been a few happenings in my life recently which have got me thinking about routine and, more importantly, autopilot.
So much of life is done on what we call autopilot; as in, not paying any attention to anything which is going on around us.
Whilst incredibly guilty of this very habit myself, whenever I catch myself doing it I’m furious. Not only have I just floated through situations without even really registering what was happening, I’ve actually missed some of my own life. Like I’ve decided that Wednesday afternoon just wasn’t really worth the effort so I played it on fast-forward.
How can that ever be acceptable?
To give you the short answer, it isn’t. And it literally never will be.
Have you ever heard anyone talk about the fact that people who decide to buy an automatic car almost never go back to driving a manual? Not to vastly generalise here but, it seems like once people get accustomed to having things decided for them it becomes a lot easier to just allow that to happen. My issue is that there doesn’t seem to be an end point to that. There is no stopping it once you allow someone (or something, to remain even loosely attached to my own metaphor) to take control of the gears. This car pun really has legs, so get out and use yours! Choose your own path!
This, the taking control of things relating entirely to myself, is why I have taken the decision to no longer engage in things which I don’t find interesting, in things which are not relevant, and in things that will not have a positive impact on my life.
Don’t take this as some kind of ‘one woman vigilante’ mission. It just isn’t. I have no intention of storming out of rooms, sighing deeply and rolling my eyes, or announcing obnoxiously “I’m not getting anything from this presentation so I’m leaving”. I’m not “over it”. I just realised that if I don’t want to do something, and I mean really deeply do not want to do something, I don’t actually have to.
Being an adult is filled with a visceral tide of bills, boredom, and finding having more than three pints genuinely hilarious due to it being “so inappropriate on a school night”. Thing is though, it isn’t a school night. We are no longer eighteen. We actually make our own decisions and we make them for ourselves. And that’s it.
So make your own decisions. Get ready, I’m going full stilton, TAKE YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.
Don’t be crap to people, don’t make other people feel terrible, continue to be supportive to those around you who deserve it. Just don’t mistake complacency for contentment.
Just because it’s alright, doesn’t mean that it can’t ever be more than alright. Alright?